Good Bye Warmth

Goodbye warmth!!! I write this as it is sixteen degrees outside yet the sun is glinting off the snow and making for a very cozy home. We've had our lunch of creamy potato soup with cheese and crackers, the boys are winding into nap time with "Bob the Builder." And I am preparing coffee for this tired mommy so that I can write up a more current post!

That colorful shot above was taken on a truly pristine autumn day. The kind that almost forces you to ditch the cell phone, turn off the news and walk outside for hours in a haze of awe.

Days like that have had us preparing for winter, we've gathered wood and sticks, cleaned our acreage, closed off the pool and have kept the children busy with small outside chores.

 It is absolutely the most beautiful place to be right now with the gold and sunlight and the falling leaves.

One week we woke up to this.

We have taken every opportunity for outside play dates with friends. Here we are with Tristan's special friend. She is two years older, and he says he likes her because she is so kind to him.

What baby doesn't like a swing?

Above is the last of my summer roses, the children playing and Josh preparing to go hunting.

That's my husband, napping while envisioning all the deer he will hunt and bring home to his venison obsessed family.

Below a throwback from our first year together, Josh was a teenager , he didn't even shave.

We have Gavin napping, homemade cinnamon buns, Clarity wrapping her dolls like her mommy, pumpkin spice bread,cuddling on the couch, evening romps through fields, epic nature shots and a nice little selfie.

Goodbye warmth!!!!

This Little Light

October 15th we lit a candle for a baby girl.

Her name is Klara, she played with my own Clarity, they were both named a variation of the same thing, light, or to clearly see. They were three months apart in age.

I watched baby Klara, babysitting her while her mother worked.I fed her, changed her, put her down for naps, and then I went to her funeral, I listened to her eulogy, hugged her mom, and I stood next to the tiny box, in the cold, with three roses in my hand, one from each of my own living babies. I covered the tiny, white casket with those roses, the day was cold, cloudy and grey. Klara you were so small to be left by that pile of frozen dirt.

I went home that day and held my Clarity, unable to fathom that my baby was breathing, heavy and warm in my arms. Klara will never be bigger than the age of one, while my daughter continues through the ages and stages of baby to toddler hood.

SIDS affects many children from one month to a year. The statistics are here and Klara is one of several I personally know who has been taken, suddenly as an infant without a real physical reason.

I don't need to light a candle to remember this baby.

Someday I may write more of Klara, her story, her touch on my life and my daughter's.

Until then I will remember you baby girl.

And I will tell Clarity about you someday, when she is older and I am ready.