When the glass is almost full

When I think it's becoming overwhelming around here I look around and literally freak myself out by considering what I have on my plate.

First let me explain what overwhelms me. While it's not as traumatic as I'm making you think, and perhaps I'm being dramatic. Our family usually likes to juggle more than one thing at a time. What overwhelms me is setbacks.

We didn't plan on moving three times in nine months. After selling our east coast home we moved into my brothers home for a bit while searching for our rental. Now we are going to leave our rental because we found a home we wish to purchase when we didn't plan on buying anything for a while.

We didn't plan on our two middle children requiring ear tubes being placed, or the multiple ear infections and bouts with bronchitis that have pervaded our home all winter long.

I didn't expect my dogs to aquire fleas. Never expose a pregnant mother to fleas, nesting takes on a whole new definition. ( notice the "I" on this one? Fleas bothered me way more than it bugged my husband.) (Hahaha good one right?)

We didn't expect to only have one vehicle to get our family around for almost a year.

I'm whining now. Ill stop soon I promise.

My human weakness tells me it's just been a bit much. What tops our full glasses of life are just the most pressing things. There is so much more under the surface that begs for its own whine-a-thon.

Sleepless nights, setbacks, illness, instability, a new home, a new place, making new roots. Feeling like we're doing this all on our own.

Pour yourself another cup of coffee, I'm almost finished here.

This is where you may  expect me to come in with the usual, trust in God, He's faithful, His will His plan. Believe me when I say I got those things down. That's far from the problem here though.

The problem is a heart issue.

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.  ..Philippians 4:11-13


Notice the "learning to be content." Why am I only sailing happily on easy waters of scheduled plans?I understand my glass of water isn't one that's so terrible. Yet I find myself stressed and despairing over such worldly little things. As a follower of Christ I should be showing patience and self-control. Yet here I am allowing overwhelming feelings to take over when I should live as "all in Christ." Instead I'm only thinking about all I want to do and how I want it to play out.

The moment I loose focus on Christ and focus on myself is the very second my feelings take over. When my heart is feeling overwhelmed, sad and sorry for itself I know it's because I'm not trusting in God. Before I know it I'm snapping at my husband, feeling put out with my children and not being very nice to the receptionist I'm speaking to on the phone about making an upcoming appointment.

I don't like that woman. I'm sure God doesn't either.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13-5

Usually in my case setbacks result in the form of things that cost money, and or time. Lost time. As a human we place value on those things. And it's usually the trigger for overwhelming me. When I'm reminded though that God doesn't leave us, if we realize He's been right there the entire time then all we have to do is be faithful and realize our full glasses of worldly worries can be dumped out at anytime and refilled with God.

Took our monkeys to visit the zoo

Sometimes I feel that to get to that getting out of the house with four toddlers is almost more work than it is a joy. A parent can feel that they are taking bouncy little monkeys out and traveling with a zoo!
Yet when we got past the loading up, the potty, packing snacks, drinks and diapers the memory and experience far outweighed the daunting task of just getting to our destination!


Since my mother and grandmother were visiting from out of state we decided on this family outing to the actual zoo! You can only imagine the excitement this caused. And the necessity of a stopping for a Starbucks this adventure needed!
We are very blessed to live close to a city that offers much for families, the zoo is a mere twenty-five minutes away and well worth the visit. We even bundled up the new one; he did so well on his first ever official family trip! I always take a stroller and a wrap for my trips to strange and unknown places. We have a double stroller for tired feet, a wrap for warmth and comfort just in case and plenty of snacks, water and wipes which are a must for toddlers.

My children are extremely active; I was glad my mother came along adding an extra pair of hands and eyes. This gave my husband and I time to spend with each child individually throughout the afternoon, my little ones soak up any sort of one on one interaction. 

We couldn't have asked for a better day; the weather was cool, the zoo peaceful,the children were full of energy thanks to a rest prior our trip. I am always sure to nap my children, and give them a good meal before we attempt an outing. If small ones are alert with full tummies they are less likely to have short tempers and longer attention spans. We are also careful not to rush them too much. Young ones love to observe, it's how they learn and absorb knowledge. This also forces me to slow down and really live in the moments of looking through young eyes for the first time. As a parent I am always tempted to just "get it over with." 

There's my happy family! Grandma's are wonderful things, an extra hand and an additional treat since they live out of state. Visits are a double bonus when they share in an adventure with us.

Finally my friend's; our last few minutes at the zoo was spent with the giraffes. What amazingly gigantic creatures they are! Our  "little monkeys" couldn't get enough of them. God's depth of imagination and artistry leaves me speechless when I see something as small as a snake to something as huge as a giraffe all in one day! 

What are some tips you would recommend for day trips with toddlers?

Whisper in the dark

 

Those moments

Those moments; you know the ones.

Sleeping moments. When the world stops and you catch it. Those tiny faces so very peaceful and unaware.

My very soul aches with the knowledge that this is slipping away faster than my camera can catch it. I take a lot of pictures while my babies sleep, because I know my season with them is short.

I've complained and have mourned the lost sleep when those newborns come home. We want to rush those first weeks, we want them moving and sitting already, we speed up feedings and wish the days of two hour schedules were over. Only looking back did I see how short and fleeting they were.

Slow down I tell myself.

Hold those moments of long eye lashes, deep sleep, and baby noises.

Those times when they want my arms solely.Needing to feel a heartbeat underneath
small ears. These times I am the only one who can rock them to sleep, ease over tiredness into a peaceful rest. I wish to keep those times, own those chapters as a parent.

Such moments were created just for me by a God who knew what He was doing. Only a parent could glimpse how fragile, enormous yet terrifying ,raising a child will be when they catch those moments of sleep.

Heading west

I'm a Jersey girl.

Does that say enough about me?

Why is a Jersey girl living in Kentucky?

Remember the  movie last of the Mohicans?

The year was 1992, the first time Kentucky ever became an actual place for me.I remember a dialogue between the main actor and this annoying red coat.
"So where are you going" Asks annoying red coat.
" we're headed west to "kan -tuck- ee "says long haired main character.
"There's a war going on how is you are headed west?!!!!" Annoying and now full of indignation red coat spits out
"Welllllll, "drawls long haired one."you head east and then real sudden like turn west."

Flash forward a few years. My brother tells me he is going to attend seminary in Kentucky during the fall of 2012.

Kentucky?

We're from New Jersey; home of hurricane Sandy, Jersey shore, mega malls and within driving distance of the famous New York City. Asking a Jersey person to consider even stepping across the state line is like asking someone to cut something off. You just don't do it.

But we didn't like NJ. My husband and I. We and our three young children longed for space, we wanted property, we wanted nice people to drive on the road with us. We craved less smog, more down home cooking, we wanted to shake off the extreme rules in NJ. We wanted more freedom, and lower taxes. We wanted off the rat race called jersey.

To survive, literally on the East coast one must devote a large amount of money towards housing. You have to drive, a lot. You even feel pressured into looking like everyone else. One simply does not go shopping at target without at least putting on mascara. When you
live in New Jersey.

Sure we had grown up in NJ, and most of our friends and family lived in NJ happily. We were not though, we had been attempting to escape for years without success. We are nature loving spectators, and our young children were showing the same interests.

We needed to leave.

Our family was growing and we knew we couldn't choose between raising them in a godly manner according to the Bible if we placed stuff like our house and lifestyle in New Jersey on this level of importance.

We did something crazy, we decided to follow my brother to Kentucky. In the fall of 2013 God answered our call. He let us leave NJ through the most interesting and amazing circumstances.

Pregnant, jobless, and homeless because we sold our home. We packed everything we hadn't sold or given away into a moving truck, September of 2013.

And it's here our story begins, because that is where we are starting my friend.

Kentucky.