Daddy; it's me, your little girl.
I'm all grown up.
I'm the first born; I resemble you Dad and I love coffee, bookstores, writing, cooking and gardening, just like you.
We have some memories together; like that winter night you woke me up to play in a perfect snow wonderland? You pulled me in my red sled until I couldn't up the hill anymore. We made snowballs and a snowman until I couldn't feel my fingers. Daddy if they had instagram back then what kind of hashtags would you write?
You took my brother fishing once; I asked if I could go with you sometime too. You said "sure we will." But you must've forgotten.
Everyone else's Daddy's called their girl's "princess, baby girl and sweetheart." But you never did.
On your days off you'd stay in your room Dad. Mom told us not to bother you because you were crabby and we'd make it worse.
After a family vacation I'd hear you tell Mom how you couldn't wait to go back to work.
You sketched and painted a lot Daddy; but I never got a chance to tell you that my favorite color is green. I still don't know what yours is.
You forgot me at youth group once; you left early for work too like you did every Wednesday night all through my high school years. I called your cell phone a dozen times, you had fallen asleep in your car in a parking lot. I felt like crying when you showed up without saying anything to me.
Remember when you made me change out of my brand new skirt and sweater that mom bought me? We were late for church because nothing else I put on was good enough.
We had one Daddy/daughter date, our only ever, I discovered that the cup of coffee you bought me came with a price. "Stop being who you are, or I'll let Mom throw you out of the house." There wasn't much to talk about after that, you took your full cup of coffee with you and drove away in your car.
Dad we didn't talk for two and a half years. I slept on a lot of couches, spent some time being hungry. I worked hard Daddy, two jobs, one time three jobs. Sometimes all I had was ramen noodles for dinner. Your pizzeria was only fifteen minutes away from where I was staying still I felt that deep down you'd tell everyone how I used you for food if I stopped in and asked for a slice of pizza.
Remember when my future husband tried calling you to ask for my hand in marriage? You hung up on him, he never got your answer.
On my wedding day Dad I asked you to give me away; I wanted you to say so many things to me, but those words never came.
We didn't see each other until the next year; I gave you and mom that card saying you're grandparents now, you wouldn't look me in the eye.
We gave our second son your name as a middle one. Did this make you smile?
When I became saved I wanted to tell everyone , especially you Dad. I wished you never learned how to text message though, the words you wrote to me in response cut me to the core.
You like some of your other children better then me. Everything I am has always rubbed you the wrong way.
I have a little girl now; we almost died when she came into this World.When we celebrated her first year of life you were there, but you sat in a corner fiddling on your cell phone. Mom had to remind you to stand up when we were ready to cut the cake.
Daddy; sometimes I hurt when my friends complain about their father's, about how much their Dad's are in their lives, treating them like they're still little girls.
When we had our house moving party you were there Dad. I was 20 weeks pregnant, I was moving boxes and loading things up. But you just sat there with your phone. When we packed up all our chairs you moved outside to sit on the porch steps.
Daddy the last time I saw you I didn't cry when I hugged you goodbye. Maybe you were glad I was leaving, if you had to choose between me and my other sister's it would be them. I wont make you choose.
Daddy I called you on your birthday last week, you thanked me for the coffee and espresso we'd sent you. We didn't talk about anything else.
They say Dad that girls always marry men like their Daddies. I've never followed rules, my children's Daddy is a strong, rugged kind of man, blonde and messy, loud and tough. He works hard like you though, and gets quiet like you too. Well I guess maybe he has a lot of your qualities Dad.
Your granddaughter runs when her Daddy asks where his baby girl is.They go on walks together, he reads her stories, and hugs her tightly.
My boys take care of me; they pick me flowers, patting my back while they promise to protect me from bad pirates. They're a lot like their own Daddy in that way.
It's Fathers day; I couldn't send you a card. I dont blame you Dad when my life is so full of good things.
Sometimes I think about you, I send text pictures of your grandchildren without a reply from you. I often wonder if you think of me. Do you ever wonder what would happen if you called your little girl?
She'd come running.
Happy Fathers Day Daddy.
Linking up with http://calledhomejfisk.com/2014/06/12/winter-warmth-wellness-thoughtful-thursday-linky/
